Janathon Day 20 – Facing a Fear

Being that I have a diagnosed General Anxiety Disorder to say I have fears is an understatement – I have way too many to count!!! It’s exhausting I can tell you.

Due to Janathon, and being bitten by the exercise bug with my running, boxercise class and I have even bought weights, I got into my head to face one of those fears and that would be swimming!

My friend who is a swimming teacher kindly said she’d go with me and help me.

I was so nervous, you see I am ok in the water as long as I can touch the bottom.  Having watched my two children flourish at their swimming lessons, and we made sure that they were deep water lessons, I thought I needed to be as brave as my children – which is what I am trying to do!

It was tough, my stomach was in knots the night before.  I am not sure you can truly understand the affect of anxiety unless you are a sufferer – but my anxiety levels were very high, but I was excited too.  My dream is to be able to swim lengths is something I would love to crack in 2016.

My friend was very patient and encouraging, she even managed to persuade me to the deep end, which did take lots of deep breaths and trying to find an inner strength – whilst I clung to the edge like a limpet.  Eventually getting me to let go and touch the bottom with my feet and come back up and also do a star float on my front for a few seconds, still not quite brave enough to try and float on my back.

Really working on my breaststroke – need to improve my technique, trying to alternate arm strokes and kicking my legs, whilst also working out my breathing.  I can swim 15 metres and then it’s at that point I can no longer touch the bottom and panic sets in, I tense every muscle in my body (I seriously ache this evening)! It’s really tough, but I have taken the first steps and I feel rather proud even if I do say so myself.

The fact I managed to get myself running, which when I first started I could barely run for a minute after which it felt like I couldn’t catch my breath and now I regularly run 5 to 6km makes me realise that with perseverance and practice I can do this…

Thank you Janathon for getting me doing this and my wonderful friend putting up with me and my nervous energy! Hopefully I’ll carry on and succeed and one day feel confident in the water, all being well going back next week! 🙂 xxx

Shocking selfie because I felt an idiot taking a photo of myself at the swimming baths!
Shocking selfie because I felt an idiot taking a photo of myself at the swimming baths!

 

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2 thoughts on “Janathon Day 20 – Facing a Fear

  1. Awww, great job! Swimming is also something I’m really not confident about… But any small steps count. When I saw that picture of yours I remembered when I took a selfie in the changing rooms after a sauna session because I wanted to show how red my face was. I felt like an idiot, plus I had to wait for everyone to leave, how awkward would have been to accidentally include someone half naked in my picture? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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