Tatt it Again!

So it’s not that long ago that I shared with you Tattoo Tales – which explains my reasons behind why I got the tattoos I have and every single one means something very important to me and I love them.

Image courtesy of www.someecards.com

Now usually there are about two years between each time I’ve got a tattoo – this time it didn’t work out that way, it’s only been about 4 months since I got my phoenix!

But I this latest tattoo means so much to me and contains so much meaning, I am literally wearing my heart on my sleeve and every time I look at it I smile…

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Tattoo Tales

In recent years I have become genuinely fascinated by tattoos, a lot of my friends have them which made me realise how stunning they could be, but I have been known to stare at complete strangers tattoos, which isn’t always the best thing to be caught doing. Though every so often it has resulted in an unexpected and interesting conversation. Finding out why they had it done, was it just teenage rebelliousness or was it a more considered decision with a story behind it?

Chatting with people I would probably never have spoken to, and it’s all been sparked by their body art.

So just before my 30th birthday, I decided I really wanted to get a tattoo, but for me, this was a massive decision and not one made easily, mainly due to my anxiety.  Now you may wonder what my anxiety had got to do with it, but one of my triggers is a big fear of having an allergic reaction to things, such as foods, hair dye and therefore not surprisingly tattoo ink!

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Time to Talk Day 2018

As the saying goes “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be Kind. Always”

I am a face of anxiety.

But you can’t necessarily tell who is battling their inner demons because they conceal it all behind a smiley face, a bouncy bubbly personality, lots of what seems like boundless self-confidence or possibly they keep it all behind closed doors, keeping themselves to themselves, however they deal with it, they are still battling and doing their very best…

As I’ve shared before I have been diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) so what is anxiety to me?

It’s being my own worst enemy and personal critic.

It’s the constantly feeling tetchy and irritable.

It’s the most mundane things making you fly off the handle.

It’s everyday things making you feel overwhelmed.

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Where’s the Off Switch?

It won’t stop, it’s absolutely relentless, I try everything in my power to make it halt, but it’s perpetually overwhelming – what is this terrifying thing I talk about? It’s my own mind and my own thoughts…

The only two things you have control of (supposedly);
– Your own thoughts
– Your own actions

But when it comes to anxiety, there is absolutely no controlling those thoughts, they are a neverending tidal wave – they knock you down, and you try to get up, but then another wave comes and knocks you off your feet again and they come again and again and again, ceaseless wave after wave, until you have no strength to get back up and they wash over you, suffocating you, all-encompassing, sapping you of energy and emotion, defeating you.

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Hit the Wall

I’m not medically trained and cannot give you medical advice – do not diagnose yourself with things you read on the internet, but I think it’s worth being aware of the following. If you are experiencing anything I’ve described in this post please go and see your GP.

We’ve all hit the metaphorical wall now and then when working out. Sometimes we can push on through, other times we need a day or two of recovery and then we’re back firing on all cylinders.

But have you found yourself hitting the wall time and time again, coming down with cold after cold for months on end and just generally feeling blurgh!?Read More »

Janathon 2017 – Week 1 Round Up

So it’s that time again – Janathon time! This year I am giving it my all! Working out every day (some days more gently as it’s important to let the body recover too!) – and I am also aiming to get in 10,000 steps every day as well (though will be satisfied if I manage 5 out of 7 days for this!)

So what have I been up to for the first seven days, well if you follow me on Instagram you probably already have an idea, but here are a few more details!

Day 1 – New Years Day
Double parkrun (Greenwich – Avery Hill Park and Bexley – Danson Park) with my lovely friend Helen of helsbels.org – we started 2016 off in the same way, and I think it’s a great way to start the year!
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Be Careful What You Say

Anxiety is always there.
It doesn’t solely define who you are,
but it will always be a part of who you are.
You learn to cope.
You learn to deal with it.
You realise you are not alone.
You connect with people.
You smile.
You laugh.
You exercise.
You eat well.
You feel happy.
You feel joy.
You suddenly start to believe you won’t feel like THAT again.
Life seems so much better.

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40 before 40

Having been inspired by  Mrs Ayla’s 30 before 30 post and also my friend’s Helen’s 30 by 30 challenge – I decided to do my own ‘things to do’ list, but sadly I’m too old to do one before 30 *sob* that ship has well and truly sailed! So considered going for 35, but felt that gave me too smaller a time frame (I don’t need that additional stress in my life ;-P) so I have gone for the next major milestone birthday – the BIG 4…0…. – and then this at least gives me just over seven years to do it all – I may actually get a few of them completed in that time! Haha!!! Plus I do like a good list, so in no particular order…

1 Run a half marathon
I think this is something I could actually manage – it’s a feasible distance.  I’ve completed a few 10km races, so maybe one day!

2 Run a full marathon
Part of me thinks this is wishful thinking – I would just love to be able to say ‘I completed a marathon’ but I don’t know if I have the stamina or if my mind would let me do this! If I do get to do one, I would love to do the London one, the atmosphere looks amazing and I do love London.

Have you ever run a marathon? What would be your advice?

3 Learn to swim
This is something I have actually been working on this year, but had to be put on the back burner when I broke my ankle in March!

My friend, who has been teaching me, has been exceptionally patient with me and has told me I can actually swim, so it’s a case of getting over my fear of the deep end and it is an all encompassing, pathological fear of the deep end.  Now my ankle is almost back to normal this is something I want to get back to doing and would actually be very good exercise for my ankle – so technically it’s a win win situation!

Any suggestions on how to get over my fear?

4 Be an extra in a film/TV show
I always wanted to be an actress but it didn’t come about (my parents weren’t so keen), so this would be amazingly good fun – though not entirely sure how to go about it!

5 Get my degree
I’m doing a BSc in Computing and IT – so at the time of writing I’ve now completed three modules! My first one I passed with distinction, the next two I am waiting for my results.  All being well, and I pass, that will be all my level one OU modules complete and I will be starting my level two modules.
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Having a break…

No seriously – I’m not taking a break from my blog – I have a broken ankle! The image of my crutches may have given it away and a lot of you may already know this if you follow me on my Facebook Page or Instagram.

It all started at one of my beloved Boxercise classes – it was coming to the end of the class, we weren’t doing anything complicated, just running up and down the hall, when I turned to run back and so my foot was sideways but I still had forward momentum and my left foot turned under me – I heard a crack and felt a concentrated pain like being pinged by a bit of elastic and my first thought literally was “Oh shit, I’ve just broken my ankle” which was then followed by thoughts of how would I deal with the kids.

I collapsed on the floor clutching my ankle and my Boxercise partner called our lovely fitness instructor over who was brilliant and did everything perfectly with regards to an accident (I feel so guilty I managed to hurt myself in her class – what a muppet I am), she got me some ice and had me elevate my leg on a chair.

As I wasn’t crying, feeling sick, overly shocked and still quite coherent I’m sure people thought I was probably being overdramatic saying I’d broken my ankle. There was lots of discussion of maybe it was ligament/tissue damage – I said: “It could be, but I don’t think so, I’ve broken it!”. Even my poor partner had heard the crack!!!

We recorded the incident as we waited for my poor hubby to be dropped off by his mum (his dad sat in our house, as the kids were asleep in bed).  Once my hubby arrived, with the help of my lovely friends we managed to get me into the car (one of the perks of being a lightweight) and then it was off to Queen Mary’s Hospital, Sidcup, and their Urgent Care department.  We got there around 8:40pm and registered with the reception, who were very kind but warned me that the wait for triage was 3 hours but x-ray  was only open for just over another hour – the wait was on! I was terrified that I wouldn’t get seen, and totally having my priorities right I was worried I’d have to cancel my hairdresser coming to me the next morning! The important things in life eh!?

Looks ok with the ice - slight swelling noticeable without the ice!
Looks ok with the ice – slight swelling noticeable without the ice!

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