A year ago today – 19th April 2018 – I made what I believe is one of the best decisions of my life – I joined the best running group in my humble opinion – the Danson Runners!
So how did it all came about? Well, by April 2018 I’d been working as a fitness instructor/personal trainer for three months – and I loved and still love my job, but between that, the kids and general life stuff I found I was getting less and less time to focus on my own training and fitness, and doing what I did I do feel it’s important to keep myself fit and healthy – it was then I decided I wanted to get properly get back into my running which had fallen by the wayside.
So I did what every sensible person does and signed up for a 10km – oh you mean people don’t normally do this!?! What had I done!?
Firstly Happy New Year – Hope you had fun bringing in the new year! The Hubby and I saw the new year in watching Deadpool 2 and then the fireworks on TV! In bed by 12:20am! Rock ‘n’ roll!
So, like a lot of my blog posts, this started life as an Instagram caption but got rather lengthy so it graduated to being my first (unplanned) blog post of 2019! Woo!
I downloaded my Best Nine Instagram posts of 2018, ready for that to be my first Instagram post of 2019 (it’ll now be the second instead) wishing everyone Happy New Year but what struck me was that the posts that did the best were those that were open, honest, communication from me – either sharing a truth about me and my anxiety, celebrating a success or just showing gratitude!
In recent years I have become genuinely fascinated by tattoos, a lot of my friends have them which made me realise how stunning they could be, but I have been known to stare at complete strangers tattoos, which isn’t always the best thing to be caught doing. Though every so often it has resulted in an unexpected and interesting conversation. Finding out why they had it done, was it just teenage rebelliousness or was it a more considered decision with a story behind it?
Chatting with people I would probably never have spoken to, and it’s all been sparked by their body art.
So just before my 30th birthday, I decided I really wanted to get a tattoo, but for me, this was a massive decision and not one made easily, mainly due to my anxiety. Now you may wonder what my anxiety had got to do with it, but one of my triggers is a big fear of having an allergic reaction to things, such as foods, hair dye and therefore not surprisingly tattoo ink!
As the saying goes “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be Kind. Always”
I am a face of anxiety.
But you can’t necessarily tell who is battling their inner demons because they conceal it all behind a smiley face, a bouncy bubbly personality, lots of what seems like boundless self-confidence or possibly they keep it all behind closed doors, keeping themselves to themselves, however they deal with it, they are still battling and doing their very best…
It won’t stop, it’s absolutely relentless, I try everything in my power to make it halt, but it’s perpetually overwhelming – what is this terrifying thing I talk about? It’s my own mind and my own thoughts…
The only two things you have control of (supposedly);
– Your own thoughts
– Your own actions
But when it comes to anxiety, there is absolutely no controlling those thoughts, they are a neverending tidal wave – they knock you down, and you try to get up, but then another wave comes and knocks you off your feet again and they come again and again and again, ceaseless wave after wave, until you have no strength to get back up and they wash over you, suffocating you, all-encompassing, sapping you of energy and emotion, defeating you.
I’m not medically trained and cannot give you medical advice – do not diagnose yourself with things you read on the internet, but I think it’s worth being aware of the following. If you are experiencing anything I’ve described in this post please go and see your GP.
We’ve all hit the metaphorical wall now and then when working out. Sometimes we can push on through, other times we need a day or two of recovery and then we’re back firing on all cylinders.
But have you found yourself hitting the wall time and time again, coming down with cold after cold for months on end and just generally feeling blurgh!?Read More »
So it’s that time again – Janathon time! This year I am giving it my all! Working out every day (some days more gently as it’s important to let the body recover too!) – and I am also aiming to get in 10,000 steps every day as well (though will be satisfied if I manage 5 out of 7 days for this!)
So what have I been up to for the first seven days, well if you follow me on Instagram you probably already have an idea, but here are a few more details!
Day 1 – New Years Day
Double parkrun (Greenwich – Avery Hill Park and Bexley – Danson Park) with my lovely friend Helen of helsbels.org – we started 2016 off in the same way, and I think it’s a great way to start the year! Read More »
Anxiety is always there.
It doesn’t solely define who you are,
but it will always be a part of who you are.
You learn to cope.
You learn to deal with it.
You realise you are not alone.
You connect with people.
You eat well.
You feel happy.
You feel joy.
You suddenly start to believe you won’t feel like THAT again.
Life seems so much better.