In recent years I have become genuinely fascinated by tattoos, a lot of my friends have them which made me realise how stunning they could be, but I have been known to stare at complete strangers tattoos, which isn’t always the best thing to be caught doing. Though every so often it has resulted in an unexpected and interesting conversation. Finding out why they had it done, was it just teenage rebelliousness or was it a more considered decision with a story behind it?
Chatting with people I would probably never have spoken to, and it’s all been sparked by their body art.
So just before my 30th birthday, I decided I really wanted to get a tattoo, but for me, this was a massive decision and not one made easily, mainly due to my anxiety. Now you may wonder what my anxiety had got to do with it, but one of my triggers is a big fear of having an allergic reaction to things, such as foods, hair dye and therefore not surprisingly tattoo ink!
Before I go further into the interesting insights they were able to share with myself and the lovely Charlotte and Amy, as some of the top Women In Sport – I’d just like to let you know how this how amazing campaign has affected me in such a positive way, not just getting to meet new inspiring people and take part in fun activities but also mentally.
It won’t stop, it’s absolutely relentless, I try everything in my power to make it halt, but it’s perpetually overwhelming – what is this terrifying thing I talk about? It’s my own mind and my own thoughts…
The only two things you have control of (supposedly);
– Your own thoughts
– Your own actions
But when it comes to anxiety, there is absolutely no controlling those thoughts, they are a neverending tidal wave – they knock you down, and you try to get up, but then another wave comes and knocks you off your feet again and they come again and again and again, ceaseless wave after wave, until you have no strength to get back up and they wash over you, suffocating you, all-encompassing, sapping you of energy and emotion, defeating you.
‘This is not a ‘pity me’ post – or me asking you to say you like me – this is me just sharing how my brain works – hope this makes sense!’
I touched on this a while back on an Instagram post – but that was more about accepting myself physically, this blog post is covering my issues with accepting or liking/loving myself mentally.
You’ll find the original Instagram post HERE – did try and embed it, but the video wouldn’t show!
I know it does seem strange to say this, considering how much of myself I put out there on Social Media, but I do find it really hard to like myself, let alone love myself. I don’t know if this is part of my anxiety disorder or whether it’s just a particularly annoying character flaw – which in turn makes me think “Well if I can’t like myself, how can I expect anyone else too?” I even question the poor Hubby now and then, “Do I annoy you?“, “Do you really love me?” I mean a lot of the time I irritate myself! Read More »
I’m not medically trained and cannot give you medical advice – do not diagnose yourself with things you read on the internet, but I think it’s worth being aware of the following. If you are experiencing anything I’ve described in this post please go and see your GP.
We’ve all hit the metaphorical wall now and then when working out. Sometimes we can push on through, other times we need a day or two of recovery and then we’re back firing on all cylinders.
But have you found yourself hitting the wall time and time again, coming down with cold after cold for months on end and just generally feeling blurgh!?Read More »
You may have already gathered that we’re quite an active family. I love my Fitness Blender Workouts, Alex Crockford Plans, PowerWave, Boxercise and jogging (not to mention walking!). The Hubby plays football. The Pink One adores her gymnastics and trampolining. Both the kiddies attend swimming lessons. Then the Blue One, you might have noticed has a slight penchant for football, and I’d go as far to say he’s pretty good.
The Blue One has been attending sessions since he was only 2 years old and 3 years on, the passion for football is continuously growing. So I’ve managed to grab a fifteen-minute chat with his football coach, Alex Warner – of AW Football Coaching. It literally is fifteen minutes (ok, ok, it’s closer to 17.5 minutes , but I’m sure you’ll forgive us the additional 2.5 minutes ;-P), with coaching upwards of 250 children a week, Coach Alex (as the kids and the parents know him) is an exceptionally busy man… Read More »
Ok, this actually started as an Instagram post (for the photo I’ve used as my feature image), but I realised I was prattling on for too long for a caption and thought it best to share my thoughts in a short(ish) blog post…
Last night I attended a brilliant event hosted by Action PR, with the lovely Helen – presented by the lovely Performance Nutritionist Tilly Spurr for Future Fit Training, which gave myself and a few others the overview of the importance of Childhood Nutrition.
Anxiety is always there.
It doesn’t solely define who you are,
but it will always be a part of who you are.
You learn to cope.
You learn to deal with it.
You realise you are not alone.
You connect with people.
You eat well.
You feel happy.
You feel joy.
You suddenly start to believe you won’t feel like THAT again.
Life seems so much better.
I’m not 100% sure what’s triggered me feeling like this today – I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing by sharing it on my blog, but if just one other person reads this and feels just the slightest relief that they’re not the only one who has flat days then I think it’s worth it!
That’s the best descriptive word to cover my mood today – just flat – it’s one of those days where doing anything takes an exorbitant amount of effort (including writing this), so considering how much I had to do today made it exhausting. Plastering a smile on your face and pretending you’re fine – when in fact colours look muted, nothing holds your interest, noisy crowds are overwhelming and in reality all you want to be is safely at home! Just ‘meh’, feeling sad and lonely, even with people around. Read More »