“However you do it, make a conversation about mental health”
So today is Time to Talk Day – and recently I have been really struggling with my anxiety so I wrote a poem:
So it’s not that long ago that I shared with you Tattoo Tales – which explains my reasons behind why I got the tattoos I have and every single one means something very important to me and I love them.
Now usually there are about two years between each time I’ve got a tattoo – this time it didn’t work out that way, it’s only been about 4 months since I got my phoenix!
But I this latest tattoo means so much to me and contains so much meaning, I am literally wearing my heart on my sleeve and every time I look at it I smile…
As the saying goes “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be Kind. Always”
I am a face of anxiety.
But you can’t necessarily tell who is battling their inner demons because they conceal it all behind a smiley face, a bouncy bubbly personality, lots of what seems like boundless self-confidence or possibly they keep it all behind closed doors, keeping themselves to themselves, however they deal with it, they are still battling and doing their very best…
As I’ve shared before I have been diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) so what is anxiety to me?
It’s being my own worst enemy and personal critic.
It’s the constantly feeling tetchy and irritable.
It’s the most mundane things making you fly off the handle.
It’s everyday things making you feel overwhelmed.
It won’t stop, it’s absolutely relentless, I try everything in my power to make it halt, but it’s perpetually overwhelming – what is this terrifying thing I talk about? It’s my own mind and my own thoughts…
The only two things you have control of (supposedly);
– Your own thoughts
– Your own actions
But when it comes to anxiety, there is absolutely no controlling those thoughts, they are a neverending tidal wave – they knock you down, and you try to get up, but then another wave comes and knocks you off your feet again and they come again and again and again, ceaseless wave after wave, until you have no strength to get back up and they wash over you, suffocating you, all-encompassing, sapping you of energy and emotion, defeating you.